** Devote every waking moment that isn't spent hurrying through homework or re-reading Harry Potter and the Half-Blood Prince to practicing magic tricks, card tricks, and sleight of hand. Then, after asking (read: forcing) me, your sisters, and TGIM to sit through The Great Tanndini's Magic Show, spend the majority of the time either threatening your sisters with imminent death if they reveal your secrets or muttering, "Wait... just a sec... let me do that over" before finally astounding us with your mad magic skillz, thus assuring us that the magic set we gave you for your tenth birthday was a stroke of absolute genius (read: utter madness).


** When asked to get your stinky, smelly, eight-year-old self in the shower after an afternoon of hardcore playground, er... playing-- because I won't have you going to school smelling like butt, that's why-- you strip down to your undies and proceed to dance in the Naughty Zone (tm mrtl), shimmying and shaking your booty all the way to the bathroom while shouting "Momma, lookit! Momma, look at me! Look!" between giggles. (What?! I sure didn't teach her that...)


** After running circles around the basketball courts like a cute little six-year-old Energizer bunny hopped up on sugar and caffeine-- eyes glued to the sky, golden-blonde curls bouncing, upper lip buttoned firmly by your lower in concentration as you maneuver your $3.99 dragon kite to find the best wind on the playground-- approach me, pink cheeked and breathing hard, dragging your kite by two yards of string strung out behind you, and beg for a "small sip" from my water bottle. After taking three greedy, unladylike gulps and exhaling loudly with satisfaction, carelessly wipe the back of your hand across your mouth, hand back the bottle, and say with a reassuring grin, "Don't worry, Momma. I didn't mouthwash."

That, coupled with your earnest belief that you will absolutely never ever be able to get that "sticky tree zap" off the bottom of your foot and-- grr! argh!-- will I please just get off the computer and help you, compels me ask myself, "Self? Can't she stay this adorable forever?"